TW: Discussion of eating disorders.
For me there seem to be two types of tall people. To use running terminology, they are either gazelles or amazons.
In my teens I was lithe. The lightest I got to was 132 at 5’11. It was very skinny and happened on a trip where I would walk four or five hours a day and barely eat anything. Not the healthiest I’ve ever been, I’ll tell you.
At about 25 women’s bodies change. I’m around people of this age group all the time, and it wasn’t long ago that I was there (I swear). I remember being 27, not understanding why my hips were widening, my breasts getting larger, my muscles getting stronger… I thought I was done growing when I was done adolescence.
The girls younger than me had no clue. I remember during a particularly rough time in my self-esteem, I was at a photoshoot and these 23-year-olds were talking about how OMG they couldn’t imagine having what they so bitingly called “pregnancy hips.” I looked at their slender, youthful bodies, and mine, changing and decidedly “pregnancy hips” leaning. I felt awful about myself and tried to give myself an eating disorder. It didn’t work, and I’m damn lucky for that.
Please if you have or suspect you might have an eating disorder seek help from a trusted health professional. For the love of G-d don’t try to get one. You are stronger than you know and more beautiful than you could imagine.
Anyway, if you’re reading this and you’re young, please note that bodies don’t stop changing shape once your boobs stop growing or once you hit your twenties. There is a lot of change left to go.
So all this to say that my weight really crept up this past winter. Going back to school brought a fresh “freshman fifteen”. There’s no question alcohol and stress-eating were a big part of it. And the absolute nightmare winter where I wouldn’t leave the house for days.
So it’s time to lose some weight! A lot of weight. I’m going to do it in a healthy way, and it will take a long time to get to my ideal weight which I’ve measured to be approx. at the mid-way mark of my New BMI normal range. Realistically, I doubt I’ll ever see that number. If I can get close I’ll be much healthier and that’s what matters.
Did you know that typical BMI calculators are often inaccurate for taller than average people? So this mathematician designed a new BMI calculation that uses exponents (arts student – don’t ask me any details about anything mathey) to take into account the fact that people aren’t – GASP! – two dimensional. Taller people tend to be bigger in all three of our glorious known physical dimensions.
Here’s the link to this new and slightly-more accurate – but still deeply flawed – BMI Calculator.
Flawed because it doesn’t account for bone density, muscle mass, hydration, etc. and because BMI was originally intended only for population averages, not individuals.
So starting I guess tonight I’ll be using the livestrong myplate meal tracker and exercising in a safe manner.
Before starting a weight-loss program, always always always talk to your Health Professional.
In other news, I did a bit of online shopping. Here’s what I found:
Tall compression running pants at oldnavy.ca have great length now. They used to be dismally short (unless I received the wrong type) but now there’s plenty of room for cuffs or hems. Which is a foreign concept to me. Also their tall “Perfect Tanks” are actually blissfully long-waisted and very reasonably priced. They are actually such a staple in my wardrobe that I buy them by the half-dozen.
Ricki’s blouses run short. Their size large is large only in latitude, not longitude – a classic size fallacy! This breaks my heart. So many fun tops, and not a one of them actually fit my body properly. I think I can fix it somewhat by taking them to a tailor, though.
And to end on a positive note, I’m just having a few *great* hair days and that is always a very nice boost.
Love and peace,